My name is Anne-Marie. Do Your Thing is my personal vision and driving force in life. I also believe it’s my gift to the world. I like to inspire people to find and do their thing, even more so finding out what’s holding them back. To see people live their lives to the fullest is my ultimate pleasure and goal. Because no matter where you come from, life is too short to just be unhappy.
What I believe you should know about me:
I am a webdesigner, trainer, musician, globetrotter
- I made my first website in 2001 and have been working in internet marketing services ever since.
- I have trained business owners and students on how to do business online.
- I have been playing music since I was 6. I still regularly play the piano.
- I travel as often as possible, because I believe exploring the world is the best way to open up and to grow.
October 2015, Italy – Nostalgia, Richard Clayderman
I am not a psychotherapist
- I have been studying a decent amount of college books and articles about psychology and given up a few summers to do exercises on statistics, while balancing work as a webdesigner. It’s been hard, time-consuming and stressful, but I’m always getting one step closer to my goal, which takes a master in psychology and another 4 years of part-time studying to become a psychotherapist.
- With this blog I want to give you a flavour of positive psychology, encourage you to travel more and overall just inspire you to do your thing and enjoy life. If your life is not looking bright, as it sometimes happens to all of us in any stage and part of our lives, and you keep on struggling with some issues, there are many people on this green earth who are concerned with your wellbeing and dedicated to effect significant change within a limited number of sessions. Yes, many of them are called psychotherapists and no, if you’d rather have your eyebrows plucked or nails painted to feel better about yourself (and there’s nothing wrong with that), you’ll have to look elsewhere.
- I went to a life coach/psychotherapist years ago for some specific guidance that I couldn’t find elsewhere and to clean up a few of my personal messes. Basically, I knew I had to clean up something, but I didn’t know where to look! Being able to ask yourself the right set of questions, is often at the heart of the problem. That’s when I really understood why psychotherapists have to study so hard, is to master the skills to meaningfully guide someone else as fast as possible!
- You don’t need a psychotherapist because you have your parents, friends or a partner to guide you? There is only one place the ones closest to you should guide you to and that’s your comfort zone. Because that’s where the fun and the beer is and where everything stays the same! This is the place where we are loved as we are and that’s how it should be. They will always try to protect us from our disappointment, painful feelings and anger, but this alone doesn’t allow us to grow! Certain cases just require more than simply listening and having people around to “be there” for us.
- If you regularly object to being analysed, because floating in the open sea feels safer than swimming to the shore because of the waves, and you’re still breathing, the fact of the matter is: you are a talented swimmer! But to acknowledge your pain, and to feel that pain, and to let someone take your hand and look deeply into your issues until the pain gets lower, is the only way to heal, transformation and real growth. It’s the risk you’ll have to take some day, to feel happy later!
- If you decide to contact a therapist (with a clinical background in psychology), you will usually have someone who works in one of four specialties: psychodynamic, behavior, client oriented, or system therapy. But in a sense it doesn’t really matter what kind of specialty you take (only for anxiety attacks, you should really look for exposure therapy). Meaningful work with a psychotherapist is foremost about the common factors, namely the therapeutic alliance. This means that the most important thing is your motivation to change and during your intake, deciding for yourself if you can put enough trust in your therapist to do the work together.
- A few years later, I went to another psychotherapist for some minor issues, because someone said that she was great. I found it strange that he said this therapist was great, because he hadn’t talked to her in person (so how could he know?), but I was curious to check it out. Even before I went to the first session, I already thought she made an ethical mistake, texting me (instead of calling me) in Dutch slang with abbrevations and everything, to ask when I could come for an intake session. After this session, that I kept superficial because I didn’t feel she could help me, she gave me a 50% discount! Because she thought it wasn’t a real psychotherapeutic session, it was just an informal talk like between friends. She was right about that, but she shouldn’t have given me the discount and make me devalue her work even more. But I took it and never went back. Just to say that because someone is a psychotherapist, doesn’t mean they master the skills to artfully deliver quality work.
- Are all psychotherapists wounded, crazy or nuts? No, only the best ones, if you ask me. At least, after they have figured out a way to deal with it or get help for it. Suffering only, doesn’t make you an expert in anything.
- As research suggests (and that’s something I never believed when I was younger), we do tend to grow happier with age no matter what. As if you automatically start to throw more stuff out of the window, except of course the important stuff. Not that the important stuff needs lots of space, it just needs more room to breathe.